| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2007|11:09 pm] |
lets see if this crap works this time... NSFW
( testing ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|07:36 pm] |
listen to portishead! listen to kate bush! listen to denali!
do it!
now! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|03:58 pm] |
IN THE YEAR 2005 I HAVE:
LOVEL-OVE
[ ] stayed single (for short periods of time.)
[ ] got your first kiss
[x] kissed someone new
[ ] made-out for the first time
[x] made-out in a car
[x] kissed in the snow
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] fell in love
[ ] fell in love with a fool
[ ] had your heart broken
[ ] broke someone else's heart
[x] had a stalker
[x] had/have a good relationship with someone
[x] questioned your sexual orientation
[ ] came out of the closet
[ ] gotten pregnant
[ ] gotten someone else pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] gotten married
[ ] had a divorce
[ ] had a gay marriage
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] dated someone you'll never forget
[x] done something you've regretted
[ ] lost your true love forever
[ ] lost faith in love
[x] kissed under miseltoe
WORKkkkk
[ ] got a promotion
[ ] got a pay raise
[x] changed jobs
[ ] lost your job
[x] quit your job
[ ] dated a co-worker (we didn't really date, i guess. but close enough.)
[ ] dated your boss
[ ] dated your boss' daughter/son
[ ] got fired from your job
[x] did something you were proud of
[x] discovered a new talent
[x] proved yourself an idiot
[x] were involved in something you'll never forget
OTHER, BROTHER
[ ] had the best summer ever
[x] painted a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music you couldn't stand
[x] double-dipped
[x] skinny-dipped
[x] went to a sleepover
[ ] went to camp
[ ] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till you cried
[ ] laughed till you peed in your pants
[x] flirted shamelessly
[ ] visited a foreign country
[ ] visted a foreign state
[x] cooked a disasterous meal
[x] lost something important to you
[x] got a gift you adore
[x] realized something new about yourself
[x] went on a diet
[ ] tried to gain weight
[x] dyed your hair
[x] came close to losing your life
[ ] someone close to you died
[x] reunited with a friend
[ ] made an accomplishment that shocked everyone
[ ] realized your truest friends
[ ] told a secret that would ruin your life if revealed
[x] threw a wild party
[x] went to a wild party
[x] drank alchohol
[x] drank alchohol underage
[ ] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
[ ] saw your favorite band/artist live [x] saw someone famous in person
[x] did something you want to tell everyone
[ ] enjoyed this year overall (it's a hate/hate thing.)
indeed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 7th, 2006|09:44 pm] |
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i seem to be obsessed with milky sweet chai's. i think i have about 5 huge mugs a day. its lovely. im always miserable, jeremy thinks its due to the fact that i forget to take my prozac. i hate the thought of being so dependent on a little pill to be able to live through a day without breaking down into a blubbering puddle. but, i guess if he sais im better on it i should start taking it again... i absolutely hate hate HATE not living with him. its such a huge difference. im used to saying "i love you" and leaning over to kiss him whenever i feel like it... now i'll say i love you, look around, see one of my little sisters and be crushed that hes not there. i love them too, but its so not the same... fuck, i am just too confused... i dont even know what my point is. blah. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|03:21 am] |
jeremy and i are moving tomorrow. im really stressing about money, im looking for a job right now though i was going to take some time off to get my head better... but fuck. my family cant give me any money. the government wont give a sixteen year old (who 'would' be able to get disabilty because shes unable to work most of the time as a result of clinical depression) anything because ::: i live with my boyfriend. i have to keep asking jeremy to buy me fucking food and soon i just think im going to stop eating because its not fair to be relying on him to support me.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i dont know what to do.
anyway, i wont have computer(i might find public access sometimes) or a phone when i move, so bye to all.
i hope your lives are going well. |
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| thank you, mark t sedita |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|06:00 pm] |
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Stability | |||||||||| | 36% | | Orderliness | |||||| | 26% | | Empathy | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Interdependence | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Artistic | |||||||||| | 36% | | Religious | || | 10% | | Hedonism | |||||||||| | 36% | | Materialism | |||||| | 30% | | Narcissism | |||||| | 30% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Work ethic | |||||| | 23% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||| | 36% | | Conflict seeking | |||||| | 23% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||| | 36% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Avoidant | || | 10% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Wealth | || | 10% | | Dependency | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Change averse | |||||| | 30% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Peter pan complex | |||||| | 23% | | Physical security | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Food indulgent | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Vanity | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com |
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| and how. |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|04:00 pm] |
i was eleven years old
he was as old as my dad
and he took something from me
i didn't even know that i had
so don't tell me about decency
don't tell me about pride
just give me something for my trouble
'cause this time, it's not a free ride
don't ask me why i'm crying
i'm not going to tell you what's wrong
i'm just gonna sit on your lap
for ten dollars a songs
i want you to pay me for my beauty
i think it's only right
'cause i have been paying for it
all of my life
now i just wanna take
and i'm just gonna take
i'm gonna take
and i'm gonna go away |
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| sweet |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|10:49 am] |
 | You scored as Gail.
Gail | | 40% | Nancy | | 35% | Lucielle | | 35% | Marv | | 30% | That Yellow Bastard | | 30% | Kevin | | 25% | Hartigan | | 20% | Goldie | | 15% | Becky | | 15% | Miho | | 15% | Manute | | 10% | Shelley | | 10% | Dwight | | 5% | Jackie Boy | | 5% | </td>
What Sin City Character are You?
created with |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|04:14 pm] |
-I am bisexual or homosexual.
-I've consumed alcohol.
-I've run away from home.
-I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
-I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush.
I listen to political music.
I collect comic books.
-I shut others out when I'm depressed.
-I open up to others easily.
-I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news. (Daily Show?)
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I own something from Hot Topic.
-I love Disney Movies.
-I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
I don't kill bugs.
-I curse regularly.
I paid for that cell phone ring.
I am a sports fanatic.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
I love Spam.
-I bake well.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I own something from Abercrombie
I have a job.
I love Martha Stewart.
-I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
-I am self conscious.
-I like to laugh.
I smoke a pack a day.
-I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
I loved Go Ask Alice.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
-I can swallow about 7 pills at a time no problem.
I eat fast food weekly.
-I have many scars.
-I've been out of this country.
-I believe in ghosts.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
-I see a therapist.
I love white chocolate.
-I bite my nails.
I am comfortable with being me.
I play computer games/video games.
I'm single.
-I'm in a relationship.
-Gotten lost in your city.
Saw a shooting star.
-I had a serious surgery.
-Gone out in public in your pajamas.
-I have kissed a stranger.
-Hugged a stranger.
-Been in a fist fight.
Been arrested.
Laughed and had rice come out of your nose.
-Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
Made out in an elevator.
Swore at your parents.
Kicked a guy where it hurts.
-Been close to love.
Been to a casino.
Been skydiving.
-Broken a bone.
-Skipped school.
-Flashed someone.
-Saw a therapist.
Done the splits.
-Played spin the bottle.
Gotten stitches
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
-Bitten someone.
Been to Niagara Falls.
-Gotten the chicken pox.
-Kissed a member of the same sex.
Crashed into a friend's car.
Been to Japan.
-Ridden in a taxi.
-Shoplifted.
Been fired.
-Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
-Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
-Stole something from your job.
Gone on a blind date.
-Lied to a friend.
Had a crush on a teacher.
Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Been to Europe.
Slept with a co-worker.
Been married.
Gotten divorced.
Had children.
Saw someone dying.
Been to Africa
-Driven over 400 miles in one day.
-Been to Canada.
-Been to Mexico
-Been on a plane.
-Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Thrown up at a bar.
-Eaten Sushi. (fuck yeah sushi)
-Been snowboarding.
-Been skiing.
Met someone in person from the Internet.
-Been moshing at a rock show.
Been to a moto cross show.
Lost a child.
Gone to college.
Graduated college.
-Taken painkillers.
Had someone cheat on you.
-Miss someone right now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
such junk, such junk. useless shit indeed.
I HATE WHORES.
i feel gross about... things i shouldnt... but i am too old fasioned... so i do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|09:35 am] |
i have a black eye. the roots of my hair are dark red.
i quit my job. i have no clue what i am doing.
i cant sleep properly anymore.
i told jeremy for the first time about my sexual abuse as a child, it was hard. i was afraid he was going to react oddly... you always hear stories about guys who are upset with their girlfriends because of things like that...
but he held me and said he was going to kill them and we talked about our childhoods, and everything is fine. things about my personality (disassociation, messed up body image, etc) are easier for him to understand now.
love is grand.
the world is absolutely shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|05:18 pm] |
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what do you guys think, is four peices of pizza alot to eat at once? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|08:04 pm] |
tomorrow night will be the seven monthiversery of the first time i made love.
woo hoo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|04:03 pm] |
ive been having nightmares and waking up unable to sleep anymore.
tonight im drinking. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|03:55 pm] |
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whos really happy? anybody? at all? im entirely losing faith in the idea that life is worth living and people have a purpose other than to feel and cause pain. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|09:19 pm] |
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jeremy and i now have a car. and we're moving. the past week and a half ive been massively depressed, i had my first panic attack two days ago, and needed to see my doctor. my 13 year old sister has overdosed two times in the past ten days. i have never been as suicidal as i have been lately. that is my news. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|04:29 pm] |
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i have a passion for porn. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|08:16 pm] |
on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
and thats what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
that was the year father tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
and his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed alot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of x's
and he had to ask his father what the x's meant
and his father always tucked him in bed at night
and was always there to do it
on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that was what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told him
that father tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see santa claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed alot
and his father never tucked him in bed at night
and his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it
once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "innocence: a question"
because that was the question about his girl
and thats what it was all about
and his professor gave him an a
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
that was the year that father tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of the Apostles Creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much make up
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring loudly
thats why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "absolutely nothing"
because thats what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash in each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didnt think
he could reach the kitchen.
......................................................from "the perks of being a wallflower" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2005|10:29 am] |
1. What time did you get up today?
-- 7 am
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
-- aspen switzer
3. Gold or silver?
-- silver
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
-- resident evil 2
5. What is your favorite TV show?
-- queer as folk
6. What did you have for breakfast today?
-- ice cream
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
-- most people
8. Who inspires you?
-- the smiley red cheeked girl at the bakery.
9. What is your middle name?
-- maya
10. Beach, city, or country?
-- city
11. Favorite ice cream?
-- creamsickle... i think thats what its called...
12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn?
-- salted
13. Favorite color?
-- dark red
14. Favorite sandwich?
-- i dont like sandwiches.
15. Favorite Flower?
-- random peoples roses.
16. If you could go anywhere on a vacation, where would it be?
-- anywhere away from where i am, where i might have a chance of feeling happy
17. What color is your bathroom?
-- greenish clay and red/brown clay colors.
18. Favorite brand of clothing?
-- my own
19. Where would you retire to?
-- somewhere warm with short winters.
20. Favourite day of the week?
-- wednesday
21. What did you do for your last birthday?
-- wore a wedding dress while drinking wine and reading a book of poetry made especially for me, sitting on my bed in my room.
22. Where were you born?
-- omeemee, ontario
23. Favorite sport to watch?
-- none.
24. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
-- ...
25. Who do you expect to send it back first?
-- ...
26. Coke or Pepsi?
-- coke
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
-- both
28. Do you have any pets?
-- i hate animals. but i call jeremy kitten.
29. Dream job?
-- 1) a mother of pretty babies (who actually takes care of them and tries to give them the love they need). or a nude model for artists to paint.
30. Do you have a Tattoo?
-- not yet
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|06:06 pm] |
this is my favorite compliment (received) to date:
"You get stuck in the crevices of the brains of those worthy enough. Sticky like peanut butter but sweeter and intoxicating."
and number #2...
"you're so pretty i could kill myself."
thats all i have to say. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|06:50 pm] |
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. amy newman
2. amy voodoo
3. pretty
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my...
2. eyes?...
3. i have money in the bank.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. i dont keep friends
2. i worry alot
3. i hold on to every little thing thats ever hurt me
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. needles
2. going places by myself
3. rape
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. music
2. sex
3. sugar free beverages
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. black satin and lace skirt
2. black kemical hoody
3. big tacky red rose barret in my always messy hair
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT:
1. bjork
2. poison the well
3. korn
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. björk - all is full of love
2. rage against the machiene - killing in the name
3. caliban - ...#2
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. 'hovering butterfly'
2. keeping my job
3. drivers licence, car
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. function properly
2. be physically healthy
3. be emotionally stable
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. writing
2. sexing
3. buying things for other persons
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. baker
2. model
3. housewife
THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. scarlette
2. killian
3. killary
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. have a lesbian affair
2. have pretty babies
3. be adored entirely |
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